cplberen: (MmmRick)
cplberen ([personal profile] cplberen) wrote2008-12-22 05:06 pm
Entry tags:

SG1 Fic: I Can't


Title: I Can't
Author: cplberen
Fandom: SG1
Pairing: J/D
Spoilers: None
Rating: R
Word Count: 128
Disclaimer:  Stargate's not mine, yadda yadda
Summary:  It's too much.

 

I Can’t

By cplberen

 

 

I… I…

 

It’s too much. I can’t. 

 

It’s…

 

“Let go, Daniel.”

 

I… I’m going to die. It’s just not possible that a human body can feel this much and not die. It’s as if…

 

“Stop thinking. Let go.”

 

This is just… This is…

 

“Look at me.”

 

Heat and pressure.  And him. Surrounding.  Invading. 

 

Relentless. Driving into me, driving me to…

 

“Daniel, look at me.”

 

I can’t…

 

“Open your eyes.”

 

I…

 

Everything stops. So much pressure. 

 

A drop of sweat, so hot, hits my collarbone. 

 

“Daniel. Open your eyes.”

 

My eyelids lift and dark eyes swim into focus. So much warmth. So much heat.

 

“Let go. I’ve got you.” Absolute confidence.

 

One more stroke and I come apart. My vision whites out, but his eyes…

 

I’m not afraid.

 

“Jack.”

 

[identity profile] chattycatsmeow.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Oh wow - so very in the moment and so very hot.

[identity profile] cplberen.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, I'm glad it... er... came across as intended. :)
sid: (J/D horizontal)

[personal profile] sid 2008-12-23 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Mmmm. Yeah, Daniel. He's got you. Whew!

[identity profile] cplberen.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
:)

[identity profile] adafrog.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Lovely.

[identity profile] cplberen.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

[identity profile] pe1804.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
Oh Wow.
Just great.

[identity profile] cplberen.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
:) Glad you liked it!

[identity profile] ninja007.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
OMG! Amazingly written.

This was just incredible!!

Bravo! Well done!

[identity profile] cplberen.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, thanks! :::blushes:::
dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Wet)

[personal profile] dhae_knight_1 2008-12-23 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
Uh.... guh.

Yeah. Wow. Mmm... yeah. Speechless from the hot. :-9

[identity profile] cplberen.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! It's nice to hear that I got my... um... point across. :)
paian: blank white (sweet (& hot))

[personal profile] paian 2008-12-23 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Hot and sweet! And boiled down to the bones for the maximum intensity. Yum.

[identity profile] cplberen.livejournal.com 2008-12-24 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I started with something longer, but I wanted to strip it down so that it was mostly impression and implication, leaving it for the reader's imagination to flesh out.

::blush:: talking too much. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it.
paian: blank white (Default)

[personal profile] paian 2008-12-25 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Not talking too much at all! It's great to hear about some of the background work, and your paring-down came out wonderfully.